A few years ago, I arrived home from work and suddenly had intense chest pains. So severe that I could hardly breathe. I called my husband in a panic and he raced home to take me to the emergency room.
I imagined that my heart was about to give out: all the junk food and lack of exercise was finally caving in on my poor cardiovascular system.
As I was rushed in for testing, I informed the physician that I had been on WebMD and therefore, was a new expert on the symptoms of heart failure. He should definitely prepare me for surgery.
To my surprise, the doctor returned with the diagnosis: an intense panic attack. I was stunned.
I realized my internal system, the ship containing my heart and mind, was out of control. I had been too busy trying to fight the rapids of my daily life, I didn’t realize that my ship was being torn apart and water was just rushing in.
I had to come up with something to help me stay grounded. I tried breathing exercises, but I found that, although it worked for a short period of time, my internal ship couldn’t hold on to just that simple of an anchor. I needed something much stronger.
I noticed Psalm 46:10 (New International Version): “Be still and know that I am God…”
I recite this psalm over and over in combination with concentrated breathing. I emphasize a different word with each recital because it helps me focus on different aspects of the verse:
“BE still and know that I am God.”
I have to stop: this is a choice and it requires effort on my part.
“Be STILL and know that I am God.”
I am not good at being “still.” I prefer to be on the move: listening to my body, stopping and relaxing is not easy. But essential.
Be still AND know that I am God.”
This was new to me: not just trying to do deep breathing to relax my body, but also using a psalm to bring my mind back to reality.
“Be still and KNOW that I am God.”
The concept of God being in control isn’t something that is subjective. It’s a fact- I can see that in past experiences in my life.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Personally, I prefer to play God. Unfortunately, I am not that great at it. I like to decide what is the best interpretation of events in my life. I grab the wheel of the ship, push God aside, and take over.
“Be still and know that I am GOD.
My anxiety is usually tied to a misconception of God. I think I understand my inner workings and my life. But the God of the universe, the creator, is much more capable than me.
I find that this exercise is like dropping a heavy anchor for my ship as it is getting swept away my attempt to run my own course. I can step aside from my ship’s wheel and stop fighting the rapids that have gotten a hold of me.
Trust Him as your captain- stand aside and let Him take it. What a relief to not have to be God! Just be still.